Another one filed under "I am an idiot".

I was really excited about my iPhone case that I ordered (it's from Japan and took ages to get here) until EVERY PERSON I WORK WITH said, "You have Pedobear for an iPhone case?" 

Not knowing who this "Pedobear" was, I of course did a Google image search.

Fucking damn it. 

I have Pedobear for a damned iPhone case.

Valenbabe!

It's been BabyMania 2K12 over here lately! I feel like every single girl I know is either pregnant or just had a baby, so I've been trying to keep up. As it turns out, I think I have found something that I really enjoy doing. I feel like I could sew little baby quilts and booties and slippers and outfits until my fingers were raw, every day. They're just so tiny and sweet! I feel kind of silly saying this, but sewing these things makes me feel joyful. Full of joy. It makes me smile to think that some little tiny person might use something that I sewed. 

I also started working on Priscilla's dollhouse, which is a HUGE undertaking, but so much fun!

Right now I'm working on the wallpaper and deciding how I want the floor to look. Priscilla doesn't seem to have an opinion. I keep asking her about colors and textures to see if anything makes her eyes light up, since really I am doing this for her, but I think she's just waiting for me to finish so she can put her toy horse collection in it... which reminds me, A DOLLHOUSE FULL OF TOY HORSES. What a cool, cool kid. 

I've found that scrapbooking paper is perfect for wallpaper! Each sheet is the size of a dollhouse wall. In addition to a bunch of sheets of random paper I buy when I visit Hobby Lobby (I don't even scrapbook, I'm just a hoarder of pretty things), I have this book of Martha Stewart scrapbooking paper that is pretty much taking over the house. Her designs are always so simple and elegant, and perfectly color-coordinated. I can't wait to see how this turns out!

Aaaand finally- my Kitchen-Aid mixer! I got it for Christmas and used it for the first time today. Shameful huh? Yes, shameful. I have to admit, the thing weighs a ton and they're so expensive that I was sort of intimidated by it, but now I realize how perfect and amazing it is!

I made a special chocolate cake for Valentine's Day, which I'm sure I'll take pictures of Matt eating later :) 

Speaking of, happy Valentine's Day! I could really give a shit, to be honest. I just think hearts and pink and red things are rad so it's nice to have a day out of every year set aside to be able to draw them and post pictures of them everywhere, no explanation necessary. And I like making thoughtful cards for people I love...

Hey. He likes math :)

Grand Theft Auto

I'm sharing a really nice marinade recipe with you! That's the basic recipe, but you can tweak it to match whatever you're making it for. Today I added crushed red pepper and lemon slices.

I also found a bunch of pumpkin in our freezer... I'd forgotten all the time we took baking it and dividing everything out into individually-wrapped serving packets this fall, and discovered it completely accidentally whilst looking for popsicles when I ran out of Haribo. I made pumpkin bread that turned out so well I am ashamed, but not surprised, to say that it is already half gone. To be fair, Priscilla has had two huge slices already so I don't feel QUITE as guilty as if I'd done it on my own... but still. Come on. Exert just a sliver of self-control, Coralene.

I feel like I've been really busy these days off but I don't have a lot to show for it because I've just eaten most of it, haha. I did make this shoe organizer for P's room:

I am already SO glad that we have it, too. It can be very challenging trying to make space for a kid who has almost as many pairs of shoes as I do, so a vertically-organized alternative is perfect for us! Plus I got to stash-bust a little on some old fabric, and I'm feeling a bit more proud and accomplished for doing that than making the actual shoe hanger! If you sew, you know the feeling, I'm sure.

And now, rest! Just kidding. I have to finish sewing a gift for somebody and then start cooking supper. One of these days I'm going to take a burning hot bubble bath with a glass of wine and a book (I am terrified every time I take the Kindle to the bath... I can only fucking imagine, with my luck) and not come out until my body is pink and my toes are wrinkled. Not today, but soon.

One more thing- Priscilla just scooted by me, pushing a play dumptruck with a bunch of My Little Pony toys on the back. She was speaking for the purple pony, saying, "Hurry up, guys. My dad is going to be home soon so we have got to steal this truck NOW. Come on, get in, we have to steal it faster!" Ah, parenting. I am doing a wonderful job.

It looks like we're going to abandon grand theft auto for now, though, and just do what comes naturally...

Ray + Dottie

Saturday night was date night! We went bowling in Shepherd, MT, which is quite a little trek... the local bowling alleys were all full so we had to venture out a bit. I picked up some vintage bowling shirts at Montana Vintage on my way home from work that afternoon, so when we went out we were super-official LEAGUE bowlers, Ray and Dottie (couldn't have found better names, either!).

I somehow got a strike during our first game (never, ever happens- I think I'd been sitting pretty at a score of 27 by the fifth frame), and apparently hit the pins so hard that they spilled down into the lane (above). When they tried to fix them, we happily discovered that I had broken the game of bowling, and from then on it didn't matter if we hit ten pins or ZERO pins- the scoreboard just kept saying we were getting strikes :) 

I ate this before supper at the restaurant we went to, The Bull Mountain Grille:

The top bits are very obviously mushrooms. The bottom item is, I learned, a SLICED AND FRIED BULL TESTICLE. Do not ask me how I went from eating vegan to tearing up cow balls; I don't have an answer for you. I am more concerned about the sadistic "chef" who invented this little appetizer. How in sweet holy hell did someone decide to... well. I'm just going to leave it. 

The bigger picture of us is from Super Bowl Sunday. Guess how many fucks I give about the Super Bowl!

Yes, zero-many. But it was fun to hang out with people and eat food all day, and I do love M.I.A... Madonna, not so much. Maybe if her arms and neck didn't look like penises. 

Anyways. DATE WEEKEND! Need more of those! Definitely need more matching date outfits, too. 

polka dot door

Priscilla has carried a little white blanket around with her since she was... able to. I bought it for her when I was still pregnant, so she's just always had it. She calls it Budgie, or sometimes Budges. Anyways, she and Budgie are inseparable, and when she realizes she is without it, things can get a bit rough. 

This weekend, she left Budgie at my mom's house... in Roundup... an hour away. I can't just pop by to pick it up. Anyways, so I kind of panicked and wasn't sure what to do, so I sewed this fast temporary Budgie for her until we get the real one back. Double fabric, and it's super soft. I even want one, but I think I maxed out my dorkiness when I made a Snuggie; I don't need to be sewing myself any baby blankets.

Hopefully this will work for about a week or so. Godspeed, Budges!

Love Song

It wasn't a crafting failure! I love it. I read about it here and have been trying to think of what I wanted it to say ever since, haha. It's quite a commitment! But the project was very fun and relatively simple. Probably more simple for normal people... I, of course, spilled a huge paint blob in one of the letters and spent about half an hour with a Q-tip and a small bowl of acetone nail polish remover trying to fix it. I did add felt leaves and some feathers and gold-painted pine cones, because mine felt like it needed a little cheering, and because feathers make everything better.

So it was CLOSE, very close, but there's no need for a crafting failures blog just yet!

Reminds me, I need a squash blossom necklace.

Have you ever made acorn squash? It's so easy! Just cut them in half, scoop out the seeds (I use a grapefruit spoon because of the serrated edge), cover with salt, and place face-down in a non-coated glass baking dish. Bake at 350 degrees F for 45-50 minutes. They make excellent casserole bowls, too. Once they're finished baking, just fill with your dish of choice (rice/ quinoa, plus whatever, work best), top with cheese or bread crumbs, and bake again for about 30 more minutes.

I have to go finish up a project now... if it turned out, I'll post a picture. If it didn't, I'm going to create a new blog devoted to crafting failures. Sometimes they're so bad it hurts, but sometimes they're so bad it's just funny, and the funny screw-ups need to be shared :)

Cinnamon Blueberry (and Lemon! and Vanilla!) Muffins

I haven't baked anything in ages... it's been so long that I couldn't even find the cupcake pans! I used this recipe for blueberry muffins (except I used Earth Balance butter and egg replacer instead, and added 1-tsp each of vanilla extract and lemon juice), a nice little afternoon treat.

Which is good for me, since lately a "treat" means a large pizza, a box of Triscuits, and a packet of Milano cookies. Ah I love winter. I'M STAYING WARM PEOPLE.

Charles Bukowski, the brave and obese.

My horizontally-challenged lovecat is featured on the Meowwzie blog today! Click here to read. It's the cutest idea, I think... monthly cat feature? You had me at Mo. MO' CATS MO' PROBLEMS.

Sorry. Something is wrong with me today.

My arms are a little hairy in this pic, SORRYGUISE

Pictures of My Boyfriend Eating

Matt is going to be mad. 

Pictures of My Boyfriend Eating

For Ballet

When I lived in London, Sam's father, Raymond, gave me a birthday card... it was a piece of paper with a little sketch of me looking very sad. I asked him why I was so sad, and he said sometimes I look like a sad ballerina. Across the top, he'd written, "For Ballet". I was going through some of my pictures yesterday and found that and it made me want to wear my ballerina shirt... I sewed it a couple years ago and I think I've only worn it once! I also found some other pretty amazing things:

One of my aunts does stained glass and she gave me this beautiful headress.

***

MY REAGAN BADGE. LEGENDARY!!!!

***

Maybe best of all...

Library card! I have really been missing this!

Now I can take Priscilla to the library and actually 

leave with books. 

***

In other news, I decided I hate the photo challenge. I actually continued to take pictures that I wanted to post for the next week or so after my last post, but I absolutely don't give a shit any more. It was a cute one, but I haven't been feeling that positive lately, or at least just not as positive as the challenges were (I still think it's a rad photo challenge, it just didn't suit me).

I'm going to make my own photo challenge that lets me take pictures of stuff that ACTUALLY happens (no more day-to-day dreamy crap!), like... I don't know. Like me being a sad ballerina. I think seeing myself moping around like a dickhead might make me put my face in check the next time I'm feeling bummed out. Like when I find one of Priscilla's sippy cups under the bed and it's been there for so long I can't get the lid off, and the only good thing about it is that I have now identified why her room smelled like a hot summer homeless behind-a-dumpster piss for the past month.

Or things that make me angry, like when I see a shoe in the road. HOW DO YOU JUST LOSE ONE SHOE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAMNED ROAD ALL THE TIME. I swear I see at least one a day. Where are all these people, hobbling around with one shoe?!

Anyways, so it won't be ALL negative things, just something more realistic... for me, Miss Badittude.

January Photo Challenge, Days 9-12

Day 9: Daily Routine

It was my day off. I always watch something weird and take a lot of screenshots that I end up deleting later.

This week it was "Persona" by Ingmar Bergman.

Day 10: Childhood

I made Shrinky Dinks with Priscilla. Barbie stuff for me and a clown for her. 

I loved that she got marker all over her face :)

Day 11: Where You Sleep

This one is sad but painfully true. 

I sleep on the couch lately because I'm still in fits over my medication and wake Matt up if I'm in our room.

I think I had a convulsion last night. It was terrifying.

Day 12: Close-Up

Trust me, you don't want to see a very good close-up of me today.

Mirror pictures are fun though!

January Photo Challenge, Days 7/8

Day 7: Favorite

I loved, loved, loved the dress that I wore last night. My hair was pinned up in rope braids and I looked like a little Swiss cow-milker. Ok maybe not that, but I think I looked cute. I also loved my jewelry... the horseshoe ring is from Seth (he had one too!) and the camera ring was a birthday gift from my sister.

Day 8: Your Sky

Quiet, heavy sky today. The air is thick. It's going to snow.

After my last post I ate two sleeping pills. I waited for hours and felt nothing, so Matt and I ordered breakfast and watched Twin Peaks in bed. What in the hell is wrong with Audrey??

Last night, and a lot of garbage about anxiety.

Brett's going-away party was fun. I drank my PBR with a straw (ever so ladylike) and saw a lot of lovely people. I look like The Church Lady from SNL in that second-to-last picture... "well isn't that special".

I am so exhausted. About two and a half weeks ago (I think?) I started seeing a therapist. He said that I have "acute anxiety disorder" (oh really) and prescribed Prozac and Xanax. I've been prescribed Xanax for my anxiety before, but I am having the most difficult time with the Prozac. He wanted me to start with 20mg (one pill) per day, then take 40mg per day, and finally work up to 60mg each day- for a year. He said that one year from now, I will only be troubled by normal, every-day-type worries, and will never worry needlessly again. I can't even imagine that. So much so that I kind of thought he was blowing smoke up my ass, but I'm willing to give anything a shot.

Anyways, I think the Prozac is going to kill me. I feel so sorry for poor Matt right now. He has had to deal with so much from me already, and now I am ruining his sleep too. He can't even catch a break when he's trying to rest. It's because the Prozac has me in FITS every night. I take it early in the morning, but no matter when I take it, he says that I kick and punch and toss and turn all night long. Imagine trying to sleep next to that. The night before last he woke me up to ask me if I was sleeping at 3AM, and I never went back to sleep. I just sat there in bed panicking about sleeping and disturbing him and then suddenly it was 5AM and I had to get up for work.

Last night he ended up sleeping on the couch because I was bothering him so much. When I realized what was going on, I told him to come back to bed, and I went into Priscilla's room to sleep (she's with her dad for the weekend) so I wouldn't bug him any more. Of course all that switching about made it so I never slept again either... I tried taking a... I can't remember what it's called. Not my Xanax, but a different pill that a different doctor gave me for anxiety, a pill that has some sleep agent in it as well. It didn't do anything though. My heart is going crazy and I feel sick and I hear buzzing sounds. Nice huh.

I tried to call my doctor yesterday to tell him that I'm getting really freaked out about all this, but the triage nurse who answered the phone said that nobody was available to call me back to discuss my medication until Tuesday. "Maybe Monday". That sounds like a bunch of real shit to me, but I feel so lost that I can't tell if it's actually shit, or if it's just me panicking and having anxiety about it, which is why I'm taking it to begin with.

In the meantime, I'll just wait around as patiently as I can, feeling like Ellen Burstyn in Requiem for a Dream. The only real difference between her character and me is that she was so medication-mental that she didn't know what going on any more, whereas I have a small window open upstairs that still lets me feel complete and utter shame over this. 

HELLO is it tea you're looking for?

I'm on my way to a going-away party for a sweet friend who is running away to Australia. I haven't forgotten my photo challenge; I'm counting on a "favorite" picture being taken where I'm going. As in maybe someone will take a picture of Matt and me.

Or at least my dress. My dress is kind of a favorite too. Matt says Twisted Teas are my favorite because I am drinking two of them right now. I bought them yesterday and he opened one today, not knowing what to expect, and surprise, surprise, he is not a fan. His trash is my treasure!

January Photo Challenge, Day 6

January Photo Challenge

Day 6: Makes You Smile

Heart bokeh, and leaving our Christmas lights up for a little too long...

I love decorating for holidays, but we got kind of lazy for Christmas. These are still the orange lights we put up for Halloween... oops. 

Off the wagon and on the town!

Ok don't be disappointed in me but I kind of fell off the vegan wagon. Like hard. Like I might have broken my knees and back and neck and arms on the way down.

It started on Christmas Eve. Matt had to work but I was off. We decided to meet at The Muzzle Loader for lunch. The Muzzle Loader is famous for its chicken-fried steak and Caesars (I couldn't have Caesars any more because obviously vegans can't drink Clamato juice). I already knew that I was going to cheat and have a Caesar, but I didn't want to order just straight-up chicken either. So I got a chef salad, as if ham, turkey, egg, Swiss and cheddar were any better. Then I totally lost control.

What you see above is everything that I ordered. By myself. Matt just got his chicken-fried steak. I ate probably about 1/4 of it, along with some of his hashbrowns (top left), my salad (top middle), and then I figured, what the hell, and ordered a Ruben and tater tots. 

Did I stop there? Oh no. I did not.

I mean. I needed pizza too, right?

I've almost got it under control again. Almost. I'm giving myself one more week and then I'm going back to health-o-rama. I'm glad I'm only on a vegan diet for health reasons or I'd feel really shitty about all of this! But I figured, hey, I quit smoking (go me!) and that is REALLY healthy, so I deserved a little four-course meat and cheese meal and a pizza here and there. I forgive myself.

Self-Inflicted Aerial Nostalgia

Oregon, 2011